Chronicles of Pain

I honestly can't remember when did it started but I guess it should be slightly before Chinese New Year? The aching pain on my lower back, as I recalled, is more like a little nagging pain, the type you feel the day after you work out. It comes and goes. So I thought that I must have overstrained myself while doing spring cleaning.

But it didn't go away~!

So the past few months have been a pain in the back, not neck. Finally on the Easter Sunday, I was so annoyed of it that I finally decided to go see the doctor. So as I was changing my shorts, I lift up my right leg, bent forward, and DWANG...!!!

I felt a sharp pain hit my left buttocks and through my back!

I.Think.I.Pulled.Something.

I shouted for Cobby to come and he helped me to the bed. Then we slowly inched our way down to the clinic downstairs only to find that my usual clinic is closed. No choice, I'll just have to go to the one next door. It opens at 6.00pm. It's 5.30pm.



I cannot wait here for half an hour - I need to lie down. So we inched our way home, waited in pain till about 6.30pm and inched our way down again. I was so happy to see the clinic was empty! That is, until the nurse gave me a number 8 tag. Even better, the doctor wouldn't be here for another 20-30minutes! I mean, why the hell would you open the bloody clinic at 6.00pm if the stupid doctor would only come in an hour later??!!

So I grumpily and unwillingly sat on the disgusting sofas with questionable stains on them and waited as my back kills me. Finally when I get to see the doctor, he made me do some movements to locate the source. Bend sideways? No problem. Finally he asked me to bend forward. I bent a few inches and I couldn't go further. I can't go anymore, it hurts, I told the bloody doctor. Then he mumbled something like, "really? Try to bend forward somemore?" and he freaking pushed my back lower!!!!!

It's like a lighting bolt just hit my back, and a jolt of pain shot through my whole body!!!! I shouted out in pain and stumbled forward. Tears welled up in my eyes involuntarily as I turned and yelled at him in disbelieve, "VERY PAIN LEH!!!" What the hell! Are you trying to kill me? Told you that it's painful alreday and you still push further.

I just stood there, trying to relax my muscles while he turned back and pretended that nothing happened, scribbling on his stupid paper peacefully. I wanted to grab the chair and smash it on his head, but the pain was still vibrating in my back. Best of all, he even turned and looked at me, asking me to sit down, like everything is peachy.

Hello! It's so painful I don't even want to move a single muscle OK? But he keep insisting that I sit down. He must be feeling freaking guilty and worrying that Im gonna f***king sue his ASS! Fine, maybe I'll feel better sitting down. I gingerly sat on the edge of the chair, every movement sends shots of pain into my back. My eyes were so full of tears Im practically crying.

The stupid doctor said to give me some muscle relaxants but advised that I go for a scan if the pain persist. So I left the clinic in a worse condition than when I went in. I was walking so slow, I was practically inching. When I finally reached home, I felt faint with pain and exhaustion. Cobby helped me slowly into bed and I broke down.

I cried and cried till my eyes hurt, I yelled till my throat was dry. I'm in pain, in shock. I hated the doctor, I'm worried with what's wrong with me, what's going to happen, I'm sad that this is all happening and my family is no where near to comfort me. In other words, I want my mommy.

I know it's a very childish thought but I guess when drastic events happen in your life, your thoughts automatically turn to someone who will bring you comfort, unconditional love. For me it's my mother or sister. So it's really tearing me apart when no one was around.

Cobby was a real gem. He comforted me and soothed me, fluffed my pillow, wiped my tears and even made me a delicious dinner that night. So we ate cold soba with tempura vegetables and grilled fish for dinner while watching Jurassic Park III. What a horrible Sunday, but at least the day did not end terribly, all thanks to Cobby.

Nowadays I still feel a little pain when my sitting posture is bad, or when I wear my heels. I know, I know, I shouldn't wear those heels till Im all better. But I just can't resist. My poor heels are so lonely in the cupboard! So I try to wear them less often. But it's not the heels that was killing me.

Last Sunday when I was moving a pot of plant when a black spider crawled up my arms! EEEEEEIIIKKKKSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I shrieked and jumped up and down, flinging my arms to be rid of the creepy crawling thing off me! The moment it was gone I super regretted it. I was once again immobilised with pain.....! Luckily still got some good stuff from the doctor, so I popped a few meds and lied down on the sofa for the rest of the day. Again. Sigh... Like that how to recover....

I've decided to drop out of ABT classes. Much to the disdain of my ABT kakis... haha. But I really don't want to do anything that would delay my receovery. So I hope and pray that nothing drastic would happen as I slowly recover from this stupid pain.