Mothership : Captain's Log (I)

30 June 2008, Monday

Oh… Being pregnant is really a love hate thingy. One moment, I thought of the little life growing inside of me and my heart feel a glow and a smile appear at my face as I rub my tummy gently. The next moment, a wave of nausea hits and suddenly, I hate being pregnant.

How do I feel about being pregnant? Sick. I feel nausea EVERY MORNING. And sometimes it gets so uncomfortable even in my loose home clothes, so you can imagine when I have to wear my office attire.

Ladies, you know that bloated stage you get just before your menses come? Your boobs get bigger, your tummy gets a little bloated, well, actually your whole body gets a little bloated? Well lucky for you the bloated feeling would go away when your menses comes. But when you are pregnant you just stay that way for the next 8-9 months. Oops, my mistake, you don’t stay that way, you get bigger by the week!!! Not a pretty picture.

So far I’ve been desperately trying to conceal my little tummy and my growing boobs. Like I said, “trying”, not very effective though, so most of the time I had to endure criticisms on how much weight I’ve gained. Sigh… So now you girls know right?!

I know some of them meant well, as they wanted to “motivate” me to lose some weight. Well, I guess dieting plans would have to be rescheduled to… erm… 9 months later? Haha…

At this stage, wardrobe wise is a little tricky. I’m not THAT big yet, so it’s a little early for maternity clothes. But the waistline of my pants and my bra is definitely getting a little uncomfortable. I’ll try to tahan for another 1-2 months before buying some real maternity clothes. Meanwhile, I’ll just have to settle for loose outfits and babydoll cutting clothes. Time to go shopping!


2 July 2008, Wednesday

I’m sick of lying. I’m not suppose to tell people that I’m pregnant, but I guess I suck at it cause people (especially women with kids) are starting to ask questions.

E: eh Colene, are you..?
Me: (act blur) am I… what? Am I leaving (resigning)? Yah I am… haha
E: No lah, I know you are leaving. What I meant was… Are you pregnant?
Me: (sweating and silently swearing never to wear the tight fitting red top ever again) Hahaha… NO LAH… Just putting on some weight only! Hahaha (forced laughter as I patted my belly - gently)

Shit… they know…